Essay 34 - Experiential Experiments

Thought experiments provide three benefits. First is that they are low overhead. You can just sit in a comfortable chair, imagine a scenario, then play it out and evaluate it. You can do it before the timer on the oven rings. The second benefit is that you can narrow the options, so that you don’t waste your time exploring identities that may not be productive. Finally, you will probably learn a lot about yourself. But, at some point you will need to test some options through real-life experience.

Let’s say that you have developed into a combative kind of person for some reason, perhaps defensiveness, and you feel this isn’t really who you are. So, in a thought experiment you see yourself as a more refined agreeable genteel person. Well, you need to check it out.

The thought experiment is more visceral than tactical. You picture yourself and see how it feels. But what would you do differently? Instead of challenging people, let’s say you just nod and agree. Instead of saying “you are wrong” you say, “that’s interesting could you elaborate”. Instead of having the goal of defeating the other person, have the goal of understanding them better. Once you have some specific tactics go try them out.

You can interact differently with friends. You can find situations in which you encounter new people. You can try it out at work, with your family or people that you just encounter like a waiter or the clerk at a grocery store. One might ask if you are being phony when doing this. I would point out that you may already be phony, and you are trying to work back to who you really are.

This essay is 289 words long and the audio is about 2 1/4 minutes.