Essay 37 - It Won’t Just Come to You; 

You Have to Go Out and Find It

Remember back in first grade when you asked somebody you barely knew if they would be your best friend. It never worked out very well because developing deep friendships takes a lot of time and effort as well as trial and error. Along the way there were many disappointments; many casual friends that remained casual friends; many good friends who never became best friends; and best friends who you lost for any number of reasons such as you grew apart or life got in the way. Finding meaning in your life is a lot like that. In fact, nearly all the difficulties that you encounter in developing a deep friendship will occur in developing deep meaning as well. Let’s try a few.

In friendships and meaning, it will take time and require patience and persistence.  There is no light that changes color when you have achieved it. You will simply realize it one day. However, you can reinforce the realization by looking back at how it developed.

Proximity matters. If you are an artistic person working for a defense contractor, finding a best friend at work is going to be a challenge. Similarly, if you are person who might find meaning in drama productions, yet you live in a cabin deep in the woods with no Internet connection, discovering meaningful activities might, again, be a challenge.

Lots of things in life are like this - becoming fit; becoming interesting; or learning to cook using your own recipes - all take time and persistent and honest evaluation of your progress. But if you stick with it, make mid-course corrections, and keep your eye on the goal, your chances of success are much greater.

Best friends, great original recipes, the love of your life and so many other things do not just land in your lap. You have to be persistent and work at them. Yes, I know, there are exceptions but, “I hope I get lucky” is not a winning strategy in life.

This essay is 349 words long and the audio is 2 3/4 minutes.